#2658
Rimmi: Revenge is what we are getting!
Date: 02/13/2003
From: Lita_n_Spidey
............................................................
Lita: How?
Rimmi: Don't worry about it, I have a plan. Let's go to MSTBlanca!
<Rimmi, Lita, Evil Mike, Lita42, and Pooduck all climb into Spidey. <Lita8714 had things to do at her own place, and Lita6969, as we've mentioned, isn't into revenge. She's busy being all weepy anyway. As usual, Lita and Evil Mike sit up front with everybody else in the back. Spidey pulls out of GROPE HQ and GROPE is on its way to MSTBlanca! Everything looks great until...>
Lita: Spidey, come on!
42: Why are we slowing down?
Lita: I don't know! I'm trying to get Spidey to go faster, but he won't!
<Spidey eventually pulls to a complete stop and collapses on the side of the road.>
Lita: Spidey!
Rimmi: What is wrong with your car, Lita?
Lita: I don't know! He's just-- Hey, wait! Here's the problem! <She poins to his fuel gauge, it's on E.> Evil Mike, did you forget to feed Spidey?
EM: No.
Lita: But if you fed him, why is his gauge saying he's empty?
EM: I didn't say I fed him. I just said I didn't forget.
Lita: WHAAAT???
EM: Heh. Heh.
Lita: Evil Mike, you... you... you...
42: Scab?
Rimmi: Nitwit?
EM: Superhunk?
<Lita opens her door and jumps out of Spidey. She runs around to the front and pats Spidey's head sympathetically. Spidey looks up at her sadly with his millions of spider eyes.>
Lita: Poor little guy...
<Everybody else climbs out of Spidey and stand around by the side of the road.>
Lita: Evil Mike, how could you not feed Spidey? He needs to eat! How hard is it to give him a bowl of Spidey Chow?
EM: I was proving a poin!
Lita: A poin? And what, praytell, was your poin?
EM: He's your spider! You should feed him yourself! Why the hell should I have to do it?
Lita: <seething with anger> Because it's your *job* to do what I *tell* you to because you're my *henchman* and you *work* for *ME*!!1!
EM: Pff.
Lita: <quietly> What did you just say to me?
EM: *gulp*
Rimmi: I hate to interrupt you guys when you're fighting, but we need to get on our way.
Lita: Spidey is empty. He can't go anywhere until he eats something. Spidey, eat Evil Mike.
EM: WHAT?
<Spidey looks up at Evil Mike hopefully>
EM: No! You can't feed me to him!
Lita: Why not?
EM: Because we're so much in love! <Lita just glares at Evil Mike, and he realizes that might not be as convincing of an argument as he thought.> 42! My old friend! You won't let Lita let Spidey eat me, will you?
42: Don't "old friend" me! We never were friends! We can't stand each other!
EM: Oh. Right. Well, can we just feed the duckdog to Spidey?
Pooduck: Barquack!
42: NO!
EM: Ok... uh... Ass!
Rimmi: *glare*
EM: er... Rimmi! Rimmi, Rimmi, Rimmi... You still secretly love me! And you'll save me from being eaten by Spidey!
Rimmi: Could you get a little closer to Spidey so it'll be easier for him to eat you, please?
EM: Rimmi, no! Come on, Ass, you gotta help me!
Rimmi: We're stranded because of you.
EM: AWWW, come on you guys!
<The group erupts into a lot of noisy arguing. This continues for some time, until a car pulls over nearby, and two people walk up to them.>
Guy: Hello. We can't help but notice you people look stuck.
Girl: Stuck in the road of life.
Rimmi: Uh... can we help you?
Guy: Why don't you let us help you?
Lita: Do you have Spidey Chow? My giant spider ran out.
<The guy and girl look nervously at Spidey>
Girl: We don't have any... Spidey Chow... But we do have a nice place where you can rest.
Guy: So why don't you guys just come along with us so we can help you out?
Lita: You know, we don't usually take rides from strangers.
Guy: But we aren't strangers! I've known her all her life!
Lita: Um...
Rimmi: Thank you for your offer, but we're ok.
Girl: You're stranded. You could be here for a very long time.
42: But we were actually on our way somewhere--
Guy: Come along! We'll help you!
<As the guy and girl hustle everybody into their car, Spidey looks at them with narrowed eyes. Not a lot he can do though, because he's on empty.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Red Light
#2659
Girl: Wait here!
Date: 02/15/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
<The Guy and Girl have ushered Lita, Evil Mike, Rimmi, Lita42, and Pooduck into a large dining hall kind of room. They rush out.>
Rimmi: Ok. So who are these yahoos?
Lita: I don't know, but they're creeping me out. Can we leave?
42: No.
EM: Don't tell me you like this place.
42: Not really, but I just tried the doors and they're locked.
Everybody: WHAT??
Lita: These people are psychos!
<Apparently that was their cue, because the guy and girl have just reentered, after a quick wardrobe change.>
Rimmi: Nice robes. Stylish.
<That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.>
EM: You guys are dressed like spoons!
<That wasn't sarcasm. Evil Mike was stating the obvious. The robes are floor length, and white. Except for a silver stripe going down the front, making the handle of the spoon. The bowl of the spoon is standing up behind their heads, like a big flat hood, or a halo, or if you have a grisly imagination, as if somebody likes to eat severed heads. Eww.>
Lita: What's with the outfit?
Guy: Spoons are sacred to us, as they allow us to eat our holiest foods! <He holds out a can of Chicken and Stars> Soup!
<Yeah. This is the same guy and girl that started that stupid soup cult in the hospital, in case you don't remember them. I still refuse to accept my responsibility to name these characters I created. I refuse! You hear me? Somebody else can name them. A few minutes later...>
Lita: At least they're feeding us. <The assembled GROPE Members are seated at a long table, each has a bowl of soup in front of them.>
EM: Yeah. Chicken and Stars.
42: I like Chicken and Stars.
Pooduck: Barquack! <he's got his own bowl>
Rimmi: There's probably some kind of mind control drug in there.
Girl: No, there's not. We can't afford mind control drugs. <quietly, to her brother> But that Chicken and Stars is so low in nutrition that it will weaken their ability to resist our efforts to indoctrinate them into our cult!
Guy: What? Are you still on about that? The Great One told us that all soups are good! What do you have against Chicken and Stars, Sis? Everybody knows that it's part of a complete meal!
Girl: A small part. I still prefer Plehgresso.
Guy: That's it! I told you! It's Campblahs or nothing!
<They're about to get into a big argument, but then>
Rimmi: Excuse us, but we've finished our soup. Can we go now?
Girl: No! You need to stay and learn about the glory of soup! The Great One demands that we spread the word!
EM: This "Great One" sounds even nuttier than Mickey.
Rimmi: We'd like to have a little chat with your "Great One."
Guy: You cannot. He has left us for now. But no doubt he will be back soon with more followers.
Lita: Who is the Great One?
Girl: We will show you his image. <She pulls on a rope, and suddenly numerous banners unfurl from the ceiling, each showing a great big picture of Mickey's smiling face. The guy and girl seem to be the only members of this cult. How the hell did they afford this?>
EM: ARRGH!!! That's a crime against nature, is what that is!
Rimmi: Mickey?
Girl: Who's Mickey? These banners show the Great One.
Lita: The hell? You don't even know your leader's name?
EM: I knew Mickey was nuts but I never knew he was freaking insane!
42: Evil Mike, they don't even know his name.
EM: So? I never bothered to learn his name either.
Guy: Now that you have looked upon the face of the Great One, we shall show you to your room.
Rimmi: Our room? But we're not staying--
Girl: Don't be silly! All our new members stay here with us until they've grown accustomed to our ways.
42: You mean until we've been brainwashed into your cult?
Guy: Whatever explanation makes you happy. This way please.
<Our heroes are led to a long room with lots of cots all lined up along the edges. Each one has one of those dopey spoon robes folded up at one end.>
Lita: Well, I don't see how this could suck any more-- 2780? Is that you?
2780: Hi Other Me!
Lita: How did you get here?
2780: I fell asleep on a bench and then these nice people found me and said I could sleep over at their house. And they gave me this pretty princess dress too! <She's referring to her spoon robe. She hugs Kitty.>
EM: I guess that explains that. So. What's the Nurse doing here?
Nurse: I'm worshipping soup, you moron, what does it look like I'm doing?
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
shouldn't try to squeeze so much into one reply
since it makes things confusing.
Green Light
#2660
Why isn't anyone paying attention to me?
Date: 02/15/2003
From: DawnSummers
I still remember how to pee!!!!!!!!
#2661
<George Bush Sr. walks up...>
Date: 02/15/2003
From: Tork_110
<...and kicks Spidey.>
George Bush: Winners don't do drugs!
#2662
Tork: I'm so lonely!
Date: 02/16/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Stupid show! No money, no girl, no complimentary fruit basket!!!!
Annoying Host Guy: Yeah, that's Fox for you. Welp, gotta run! (AHG runs really really fast while Sunday chases after him)
Tork: Well, at least I can stop calling myself Joe.
Mailman: Are you Joe?
Tork: Yep! (Slaps himself on the forehead) D'oh!
Mailman: I have a delivery from ABC. You've been invited to participate in the show, I'm a Reality Star, Not a Celebrity, but Get Me Out of Here Anyway.
Tork: Wow! Is that Bachlorette chick going to be on it?
Mailman: Well she was, but then she heard you were invited.
Tork: Damn. Well, I better call a cab and get over to ABC right away.
(Mailman just stands there and coughs)
Tork: Oh. Right. (Gives mailman a throat lozenge and leaves)
Mailman: Wha?????
(Later....)
Tork: For the last time, I'm not really a robot. And my name's not Joe.
374: Damn lieing Fox Commies. (Tork pays the fare and gets out. 374 speeds away. Tork does a double take when he sees Cake lead singer John McRea tied up on the roof)
Tork: I don't know how I missed *that*. Oh well!
(An attractive "woman" approaches Tork)
April: I saw you on the moving picture box. You are a robot! Like me!
Tork: Er, no....I don't think you understand....
April: I'm looking for Mickey.
Tork: At least this one's over 18.
April: Do you know where Mickey is? He's my boyfriend.
Tork: Well, good for you! But I don't know where he is.
April: Will you help me find Mickey?
Tork: Well, see, I've got this thing (April picks up Tork and throws him through a window of a department store) Owww.....
April: Please?
Tork: Well, if you insist...(passes out)
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
See? I so too didn't forget her!
Green light!
#2663
No, you didn't forget, Mickey.
Date: 02/17/2003
From: Carmelita9000
.............................................................
But I bet everybody else did!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/2433
#2664
Tork: Mickey lives over there.
Date: 02/20/2003
From: Tork_110
<Tork poins. April looks in the direction.>
April: This is where Mickey lives?
Tork: Uh huh.
April: California?
Tork: Yup.
April: Anaheim?
Tork: Right.
April: Thanks! Mickey!! Where are you?!
<She walks off into a theme park.>
Tork_110
The only theme park I've been to is King's Dominion in Virginia.
#2665
I forgot.
Date: 02/20/2003
From: Tork_110
OT story - The last time I went to King's Dominion was during the 8th grade trip. My parents gave me $20 in quarters so I could feed myself.
I spent it all at the arcades. I spent a ton of money on Mortal Kombat 2 and some on Super Street Fighter 2.
Yup, that was fun. Except for the fact that I didn't eat the entire day.
#2666
The dining room of the Soupists Compound
Date: 02/21/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<The Litas, Rimmi, Evil Mike, the nurse, and the two head cultists are all seated at the dining table, bowls of soup in front of them. Everybody is now wearing the spoon outfits, though since the guy and girl are higher ranking their robes are shinier. Everybody chants four lines over and over, taking a sip of their soup at the end of the verse.>
Everybody:
Soup is good,
Soup is great,
We want soup,
On our plate. *sip*
Soup is good,
Soup is great,
We want soup,
On our plate. *sip*
<And it just goes on like this. Lita and Evil Mike are sitting next to each other. They whisper quietly and giggle from time to time.>
Girl: Soup is good, soup is-- Oh for crying out loud! Carmelita42, Michael?
42: Huh?
Lita: Um, I'm Carmelita9000, actually.
Guy: Don't try to trick us! Is there something you want to share with the group?
Lita: Nope! Nothing!
EM: Well, actually, we were talking about the rhyme.
Guy: Yes? What did you say about the Holy Rhyme of Knowledge?
<Lita and Evil Mike both try to suppress laughter at the name>
Girl: What was that?
EM: Oh, nothing! *snick*
Lita: Actually, I was talking about how it doesn't make any sense. You can't put soup on your plate. You need a bowl. Otherwise, it'll run all over the table and into your lap and make a huge mess, and you won't even be able to eat it.
Guy: Don't talk down about the holiest of foods! Soup is so great, it doesn't need a bowl! It can hold up under its own power!
<Everybody gives the Guy a puzzled look, even his sister.>
Lita: Um, no... Then it would cease to be soup. It would become some kind of gelatin, or maybe it would be gravy...
Rimmi: Or a casserole of some kind.
Guy: Do not accuse soup of not being soup!
Girl: Carmelita42, you are a troublemaker!
Lita: And *you* are a pair of nutbunnies! I'm Carmelita9000!
Girl: You'll learn not to question the word of the Soupists! Go to the room of Holy Solitude!
Lita: Sure thing... um... Where's that?
<The guy and girl look at each other, and then they start whispering. They clearly haven't thought this cult quite through yet.>
Guy: Um... It's in your room.
Lita: <already backing up from the table> No. Please. Don't send me to my room. <As she gets up to leave, she gives Evil Mike a look>
EM: Um, actually, I also think the chant is stupid. Can I go to her room too?
Guy: <with a knowing smile> Don't think you can fool me! You go to *your* room!
42: Actually, her room is his room. We all share a room, remember?
Guy: Don't start with me, Carmelita9000! Yes, Michael. You go to the Room of Holy Solitude, which for now is your room, which is also her room.
Girl: But don't talk to each other or anything! It *is* the Room of Holy Solitude.
EM: *grin* Don't worry, we won't talk! <He gets up and runs after Lita into the Room of Holy Solitude, a.k.a., the new people's room.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
is making herself late for class,
one day at a time.
Stupid People, won't you?
Green Light
#2667
April: Mickey? Mickey?
Date: 02/21/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
little kid: He's over there. He shook my hand. I'm never going to wash this hand again.
April: Thanks, little not Mickey. (Goes over to Mickey) Hey, you're not Mickey!
Mickey: (In a suddenly grumpy gravely voice) Look, bitch, I'm not getting paid enough to deal with this crap, so unless you want to get me out of this suit as well as all my other clothes, I don't care about your probl...(April throws Mickey into Tomorrow Land)
Goofy: Hey! She's beating up our leader! Advance on her!
(April picks up the tea cup ride)
April: ANy of you other punks want to try it?
(Goofy and the others back down)
April: OK then.
Little kid on the tea cup ride: Um, nice lady, can you let me down now.
April: (Looks at the kid) Nope, still not Mickey (Throws the tea cup ride and it smashes against the castle)
Attendant: Look, we're sorry if you're stay wasn't Disneyriffic enough, but you can't go destroying the vision of one man.
April: No, the one man is an icicle. This is the work of several whores (Ooooooh, social commentary!!!)
Attendant: OK, you talked trash about Michael Eisner. Securit....(April kicks attendant in the groin and runs....into the Hall of Presidents....which may be in the other one but for the sake of argument it's in this one)
April: I'll find Mickey in here. (Looks around) *Gasp* Robots! Robots like me!
Bill Clinton Robot: Hey.....are you 18?
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
She didn't saw Tigger's head off? Awwww!
Green light!
#2668
Meanwhile, at the house Joe Robot was
Date: 02/21/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
filmed in...
(The floor boards creak, and split open as STG pulls himself out)
STG: Free! FREE!
Person #1: Eeeek! ZOMBIE!
Person #2: Oh my god! This place is really haunted!
STG: Haunted?
Person #3: Well, yeah, haunted. That's what the FOX executive told us.
STG: FOX? Executive? Told? Us? Cheese curls?
Person #2: Are zombies supposed to be stupid?
STG: I'm not a zombie... Oh, and I'm not stupid!
Person #3: Well, forgive us for calling you a zombie. Are nerves are a little on edge.
STG: How come?
Person #1: Cause we're on FOX's new reality show... CELEBRITY HAUNTED MANSION!
STG: Celebrities? Where?
Person #3: Why, we're the celebrities!
STG: You are? Who the hell are you people?
Person #3: Well, reality shows definition of 'celebrity' is a little vague. Basically if you've appeared on television *ever*, you're a celebrity. I was one of those people that danced like a chicken in those old 'Shake and Bake' commercials. (Starts humming, 'I feel like chicken tonight', to himself.)
STG: Uh huh... And you two?
Person #1: I was in the background when some news crew was filming coverage of the state fair.
Person #2: I was a cast member of SNL who's career quickly went into the toilet after leaving the show.
STG: Uh huh.
Person #3: Yup, and there are cameras all over the house, watching our every movement, and showing it to everyone in America.
STG: Oh. Well, I just escaped from prison, after being held captive there for several weeks. Do any of you have the latest issue of The Punisher?
(Meanwhile outside, the host of FOX's CELEBRITY HAUNTED MANSION, talks into the camera)
Host: Now, we told these people that we were going to pay them each one million dollars to spend the week in this haunted mansion, but they don't know that they've been set up! Actually we've rigged the house with explosives, and plan to blow it up on them! Let's see how their lives can handle a little, fatal, lie... (Walks over to the trigger, and pushes it down)
(Back inside...)
Person #3: Anyway, I had to chicken dance my heart out just to get that shot in that commercial...
Person #2: (Whispering to STG) My stories better... It has Chris Farley in it!
(Suddenly, the building begins to explode, engulfing the nobodies in flames, and launching STG out the window!)
Host: Woohoo! Wasn't that great folks? And you got to see ever second of their last moments here on FOX!
*THUD* (STG lands next to him)
STG: (Gets up) Aaah, what happened!?
Host: Well, we tricked you people into the house, so we could blow it up on you, for our reality show. People love it!
STG: Geez, I thought I was crazy! You're sick!
Host: Yes, but the ratings!
STG: You killed them!
Host: Yes, but we're breaking TV frontiers of stupidity! And the ratings!
STG: This whole things idiotic! (Turns toward the camera) You people should be ashamed of giving these lunatics' repulsive reality shows the attention that's driven them to pull even stupider stunts like this! Just learn how to turn the freakin' TV off! Forshame!!! (STG stomps away... or as best he can with his limping)
Host: (Looks ashamed, but then changes back to happy instantly) Okay then, well don't forget to tune in next week for yet another new reality series! CELEBRITY TEMPTATION BOOT CAMP BOXING CRUISE!
ServoTheGreat
#2669
<Tork puts on a blindfold>
Date: 02/25/2003
From: Tork_110
<He walks forward, until he hits something. He takes off the blindfold and sees that he's at MSTBlanca.>
Tork: Works everytime.
<Tork is about to enter, but he sees a banner.>
Tork: Huh?
PM: Ha! What do you think about the banner?
<Tork looks at it. It says, "big fat slutty dorks" and it includes badly drawn pictures of each member of GROPE.>
Tork: I don't get it. You're saying that you guys are big fat slutty dorks?
PM: What? NO! It should be straight forward. I'm saying that GRO...
<PM sees that banner. It's the first time he's seen it, naturally.>
PM: SAM!!!
Tork: I'll be going now. <runs away>
#2670
*sniff* That bastard Mickey
Date: 02/27/2003
From: Mickeys_Chair
He got the Angel dvds today, and he showed me the first episode, and it full on rocked until that scene where he pushed Russel out the windo, and then.....
That poor chair he was sitting on! *sniff* He was my brother!!!! I don't even feel like spinning anymore!
#2671
It was an evil chair.
Date: 02/27/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
It was bent on commiting evil deeds and heinous acts. It would have been a huge threat to chairkind. Angel did the right thing.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2672
Squeak?
Date: 02/27/2003
From: Litas_chair
Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!
Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!
Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!
Squeak.
#2673
Speaking of Angel
Date: 02/28/2003
From: Dr_Lang
Since they have released season 1 on dvd, is one to assume that they are not showing reruns on tv anytime soon?
I never watched Buffy until I read some the older replies on this post, so I made it poin to check out the show and now Iam hooked. It also helped that the first time I tuned in to watch, FX just happened to show the very first episode (don't get UPN where I live so reruns will have to do).
I am having trouble getting into Angel, probably because I have seen nothing prior to the middle of season 3. From the crossover ep. on Buffy, Angel looks interesting with Faith and Cordy involved in the plot but I can't make many conncections with the two or three shows I sat through recently. Do the shows in one season lead up to some sort of finale like BtVS?
DL
Current Forrester Cup Champoin!
#2674
TV 101
Date: 02/28/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
I doubt Angel will be going into reruns soon unfortunatly. Usually tv shows don't get their big fat syndication check until the 100th episode (Which is why many shows past their ratings and critically appraised prime in the 4th season, think 3rd Rock, stick around for longer then anyone wants), and Angel's still 25-30 away, which is why WB would be crazy to cancel it because they'd get a lot of that money. DVD is just another form of syndication, only you don't have to wait until the 100 episodes.
Sometimes an exception is made like Futurama, which did have 100 episodes, but only 70 or so originally aired on Fox, which is why it took Cartoon Network so long to pry it away from them. I've said which is why a lot in this post.
Shows which ran for only one or two seasons (Hopefully like Whedon's recently cancelled Firefly or the Tick live action show) are easy to get syndication or DVD deals, because networks see a good way to get their money back on them. So that explains why (Thought I'd use a different phrase) one or two season shows like the Flash or Prey show up on Sci Fi on occasion
Anyway, I've had a lot of problems sticking with Angel myself. The first ep I saw this season in fact, was the one on three weeks ago. But from that one episode, I found this season easier to get into then last season. Last season may have been critically acclaimed and fan approved, but the plot was way too hard to get into without seeing it from the beginning (Hey, I liked Skip though!). This season's easy, thing blocks out the sun (I think Whedon's been watching the Simpsons too much). I'll definitly be watching it the rest of the season. But since it's now almost official that it's Buffy's last season, it's very likely that the last eps of each show this season will connect. Maybe you can find a friend who can get Buffy somewhere.
There. I hope this post was entertaining and educational. And if not, eh, I just got up, what do you want from me? :o)
MTG etc
#2675
And now that I'm on the subject
Date: 02/28/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Other shows I'd love to see on DVD:
The Tick Animated (Unlikely though, Disney owns the rights. Pleh!)
The Critic
The Maxx cartoon that was on MTV (So good)
The Lone Gunmen (LOVED that show way more then X Files! I know, I'm the only one)
Get Smart (Best sitcom ever)
Newsradio (2nd best sitcom ever. I miss Phil so much)
OK, now I'm just rambling.
Er.....MST3K forever!!!!
MTG etc
#2676
D'oh! Look what was on zap2it.com today
Date: 02/28/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TNT Gets 'Angel' Repeats
Thu, Feb 27, 2003 12:46 PM PDT
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - Regardless of what The WB decided to do with "Angel" after this season, fans will be able to see the show in the fall.
TNT has bought rerun rights to the first four seasons of the series and will begin airing it as early as this fall. The show will likely run twice a day on the cable network.
"We're pleased to have 'Angel' joining the list of high-profile dramas on TNT's schedule," says Bob Cook, president and COO of 20th Century Fox TV, which produces the show. "Executive producer Joss Whedon has created and continues to deliver an innovative, groundbreaking show that has garnered a tremendous fan base."
The spinoff of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is in its fourth season on The WB. It will join fellow WB show "Charmed," as well as "ER," "Law & Order" and "NYPD Blue," on TNT's schedule.
The WB hasn't yet made a decision on whether to bring "Angel" back for a fifth season. WB Entertainment president Jordan Levin told reporters earlier this week that the network is happy with the show's performance, both creatively and in the ratings.
--------------------------
Um....heh heh
#2677
[PM] So, what did I do again?
Date: 02/28/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Umm... something mode>>>
[It's the morning following PM's tantrum. The bar's empty of patrons, and Buffalo is sweeping the floor. PM is sitting at a booth, holding an ice pack to his head, while Sam pushes another cup of coffee toward him.]
[Sam] You totally flipped out when that paint fell on your head...
[PM] Oh yeah...
[Sam] ...and then you pulled a gun and started shooting them. Talk about un-mellow.
[PM] Yeesh. Overreact much?
[Sam] You tell me. *You're* the one who did it.
[PM] Did I do anything else?
[Sam] You called them all "big fat slutty dorks".
[PM] Aw, crap. Why would I do that? I was going to make a peace offering to them.
[Sam] Well, they *are* your archenemies.
[PM] Yeah, but I never went *that* far.
[Sam] You tried to kill them. A few times, even.
[PM] True. But I'm a supervillain. That kind of thing's to be expected. But there's no excuse for that kind of rudeness. What's happening to me?
[Sam] Stress, maybe?
[PM] Yeah, could be. There's been a lot happening lately...
[Sam] And you haven't been real friendly with the missus in awhile...
[PM] That's true...
[Sam] Oh! You've been experimenting with infratronic mood-altering lasers, too.
[PM] That settles it. I need to de-stress.
[Sam] You mean? [He grins and starts to bring out a clear plastic bag full of his "cigarettes".]
[PM] No. I need to get away from the daily grind of superscience and villainy. I need... A VACATION!
[Lightning flashes, and thunder explodes. PM and Sam look up, startled.]
[Buffalo] Oops, sorry. [He flips a switch on the panel he was dusting, and the lightning stops.]
[PM] But yeah, a vacation. I need to go somewhere and find myself. [He gets up to pack.]
[Sam, to himself] Heh heh heh... time for slacking!
[PM] Oh, and I'm putting Nabut in charge. He *is* my right-hand man, after all. He should keep you mugs out of trouble.
[Sam and Buffalo] D'OH!!!
TmPM
Yellow light
Sarcophagus!
#2678
the cat jumped on my lap
Date: 02/28/2003
From: Carmelita9000
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Lita: Ok! Finally! We're alone! Now we just have to-- Evil Mike, stop that.
EM: What? This is what we came here for, isn't it?
Lita: No, it's not. Now help me get this window open.
EM: It's nailed shut.
Lita: I know that. That's why I need you to help me get it open. We need to get out of here.
EM: You mean we're actually leaving all those other losers here? That's awesome! I was wondering when you'd finally decide to ditch them!
Lita: I'm not ditching anybody, Evil Mike. I just want to get back to Spidey and feed him. Then we can bring him back here and free everybody.
EM: That's a lame plan.
Lita: Shut up and pull on this window.
<Lita and Evil Mike struggle with the window for a while, but it stays shut>
EM: This is no use. I have a better idea. <Evil Mike reaches for Lita>
Lita: I said stop that. You're not getting any, I'm still mad at you for not feeding Spidey.
EM: Aww, no way! That was a long time ago!
Lita: It was this morning, Evil Mike. If it wasn't for you and your trying to make whatever stupid poin you were trying to make, we'd be causing havoc at MSTBlanca right now.
EM: *sigh* Yeah... Oh well! We can't do that! So instead let's--
Lita: No!
EM: What was all that winking you did at me in the dining room? Huh?
Lita: I was just signaling for you to come with me so you could help me escape. I'm very sorry if you read too much into it. I don't think this is a good place for the kind of thing you were thinking of anyway.
EM: Why not?
Lita: Have you even looked at the beds?
EM: Why no, I... GAH!!1!
Lita: I can't believe you didn't notice before now.
EM: All the covers on the beds have pictures of Mickey on them!
Lita: Yes.
EM: And he's only wearing boxer shorts!
Lita: Yeah... I think they just glued a picture of Mickey's face onto the body of whatever guy was on these sheets originally.
EM: I can't sleep on Mickey sheets! I'm sleeping under the bed from now on!
Lita: Whatever. Anyway, we need to figure out a way out of here.
EM: <Finally out of the mood> Yeah, ok. But can you just tell the guys out there that we did it? I have a reputation to uphold.
Lita: No, Evil Mike.
EM: Damn.
Lita: I have an idea! You can blow this place up with small animals!
EM: No.
Lita: No? Why not?
EM: What am I? Your dog to do tricks when you tell me? I don't explode animals on command, Babe. Deal with it.
Lita: <using a great deal of restraint not to punch Evil Mike for his rudeness> Fine... actually... it wouldn't have been a good idea anyway.
EM: It wouldn't?
Lita: No. For one thing, you'd kill all those cute sweet innocent little animals.
EM: <smiling faintly> Yeah... I would, wouldn't I?
Lita: And also, we're stuck in here. If we blew up the building, we'd all die.
EM: <the smile gets bigger> Yeah... You'd all die...
Lita: I said *we* would all die, Evil Mike. That includes you.
EM: <even bigger smile> And you'd be dead... No more nagging...
Lita: You'd be dead too!
EM: <huge smile> And it would be so, so easy-- <Lita tackles Evil Mike and wrestles him to the floor. And not in the fun way that he likes.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Congratulations to Tork_110
for winning the Name Lita's Reply Contest
#2679
*ring* *ring*
Date: 03/01/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Nabut picks up the phone>
Nabut: Hello? <He's probably supposed to mention that this is MSTBlanca or something when he answers the phone, but PM isn't here.>
Mysterious Threatening Voice: Hello, PM.
Nabut: I'm not PM. I'm Nabut. The Boss is on vacation.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: I know who you are. But you don't know who I am!
Nabut: Yes I do. I recognize your voice. You're Evil Mike.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: I am not!
Nabut: Yes you are.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: Am not!
Nabut: Then who are you?
Mysterious Threatening Voice: <avoiding the question> So anyway, my chick's pissed at me,
Nabut: That would be Lita.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: No it's not.
Nabut: Yes it is. And why do I care?
Mysterious Threatening Voice: And I thought to myself, how can I make my chick *not* be pissed at me?
Nabut: Get her U2 tickets?
Mysterious Threatening Voice: Yeah, but you see, they're not on tour right-- I mean... U2? Who's U2?
Nabut: You're really bad at this.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: And then it occurred to me, the best way to make my chick not be pissed at me would be to get rid of the other guy she's pissed at! That would be you, PM.
Nabut: I'm not PM. I'm Nabut.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: You're not good at lying either, PM.
Nabut: "Either"? Does that mean you're lying too?
Mysterious Threatening Voice: *long pause* ...no...
Nabut: I'm hanging up now, Evil Mike.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: Say, PM, do you like animals?
Nabut: Not with the animals again.
Mysterious Threatening Voice: What? It works!
Nabut: It doesn't work! The bar is made of gumby clay, remember? It's un-explodable!
Mysterious Threatening Voice: Yes, PM. I'm sure the bar is un-explodable. But are you? MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!1!1!1
Nabut <He looks down and sees a chipmunk wearing dynamite snuggling his leg> Oh... poopie...
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
It's not my plotline. But PM left the light Yellow.
Congratulations to Mickey,
for winning the Close Lita's Tagline Contest.
I just got ice cream. Want some?
#2680
There's a knock at Lita and EM's door
Date: 03/01/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Lita: We don't want anymore soup!!!!
Cult Guy (Hereafter known as Stu. Ha ha, get it. Oh, bite me!): Just checking to see if you're quarters are adequate.
Evil Mike: No! We almost had sex on Mickey's face! (ewwwww...)
Nabut: Ugh. TMI!!!
Evil Mike: Oh shutup you. (Hangs up)
Stu: What is this sex?
Evil Mike: Figures.
Lita: What Evil Mike was trying to say was....um...soup....it's what's for dinner!! :o)
Stu: You two have been talking to eachother! In the room of solitude even!
Evil Mike: Yeah....and Lita's horny! She's been tackling me!
Lita: Why you little...
Stu: Do you know what talking in the room of solitude means?
Evil Mike: Being sent to the room of more solitude?
Stu: Hey, that's not a bad idea....no, for talking in the room of solitude, I'm taking you to see the....um, well I haven't thought of a cool cultish title for him yet, but you're going to see him anyway!
Lita: Most cults are planned.
Stu: Well, most cults worship God or reasonable facsimiles. We do things our way here. Feh. "God".
(Stu unlocks the door and grabs EM and Lita and escorts them down the hall. He throws them in a large room.)
Evil Mike: Well....at least Mickey's ugly mug isn't plastered all over the place.
Soup Nazi: NO SOUP FOR YOU!!
Lita: Ugh. I keep telling you. I don't want any soup!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Your ass is grass, and I'm a lawnmower
#2681
Thats too funny!
Date: 03/01/2003
From: Dr_Lang
And here I thought Angel was currently in season 3 this whole time. With TNT getting the re-run rights, I now can also witness the gripping "chair scene." :-)
BTW Micky, yes your reply was edutaining!
DL
Current Forrester Cup Champion!
Soup! Its Whats for Dinner!
#2682
[PM's driving his vintage roadster...]
Date: 03/01/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<road trip! mode>>>
[...along the road, sort of in one of those driving montage scenes. As he's driving, the song "Everybody's Talking At Me" is playing. He drives past Mount Rushmore, then over the Golden Gate Bridge, then past the Lincoln Memorial (hey, since when have we payed attention to geographical continuity?). He stops for ice cream, and is eating it while driving. Naturally, he has to stop suddenly and the ice cream ends up smooshed into his face. Then, we see him waiting for a bunch of cattle to cross the road. He honks his horn at the cows in frustration, but this only causes them to attack his car. Next, we see him standing next to his dented car in front of the former site of the Twin Towers. As he turns around, the gleaming trail of a single tear on his cheek is plainly visible.
[Random Woman] Hey mister.
[PM] Huh?
[Random Woman] You got something on your face. [Before PM can react, she reaches up and peels the "tear stream" from his cheek.]
[PM] Err... thanks.
[Finally, as the song trails off at the end we see PM driving into a beautiful sunset in the great western desert. Suddenly, the music abruptly stops.]
[PM] *Finally* got that thing out of the player!!1! I'm sick of that damn song!!! [He throws the cd out the window, and puts in some Hepcat.] o/` Come on, baby dance wid me! Come on, baby dance wid me! o/`
TmPM
Wow, that roadster gets good gas mileage!
Still Yellow
Sarcophagus!
#2683
8714: *ahem*
Date: 03/01/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
8714: Lita broke some continuity. She sends her apologies, and also this reply to duct-tape between her previous two replies.
***
<Lita pins Evil Mike to the floor. It's not too hard because even though Evil Mike is bigger than Lita, and even though he is evil, he's not so evil that he goes around beating up on women--
EM: That's not just evil, it's wrong!
--Yes... So anyway, Lita wins the fight.>
Lita: No exploding animals!
<Lita gets up, confident that she's made her poin. As she walks victoriously away from Evil Mike she trips over a chair, hitting her head on the floor and knocking herself out.>
***
8714: Evil Mike made his phonecall to Nabut while Lita was unconscious, and thus unaware of what he was doing. She woke up after EM finished threatening Nabut, but in time for Mickey's reply. EM forgot to turn off the phone when he was done talking to Nabut though, so Nabut could hear the conversation in the room. When Nabut said his line, Evil Mike remembered to turn off his phone. Lita never noticed this exchange. She's not overly observant.
Lita: Hey! I'm totally observant!
8714: Then how come you messed up continuity? Huh?
Lita: Um...
8714: That's what I thought.
#2684
STG, Aliens, and PM's goons in one reply
Date: 03/01/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
(We find our anit-hero, STG, dehydrated, delirious, and walking slowly on the side of a desert highway, in the noon sun.)
STG: Jeez, you'd think I'da run into MSTBlanca by now... It's, like, pyhsically impossible not to walk at least a mile without running into it... What the hell's the deal!?
(Yes, what the hell is the deal? Well, if we rewind the tape a bit, before MSTBlanca was destroyed by explosive vermin, we'll find out...)
(Buffalo, Sam, and Rick are drinking beer, and standing shoulder to shoulder next to a wooden fence built around the back of MSTBlanca(Apparently they just got it), it looks like the line up of King of the Hill.)
Buffalo: (Sounds like Boomhower) Werhl, Igotellyouwhatman, 'demGROPErsisgettin'onmynervesrealbadasoflate, I tell you what...
Sam: (Sounds like Bill) Well, you know, that's what GROPE does. Piss the hell out of us.
Rick: (Sounds about as much like Dale, as you can get a guy like Rick to sound like) Yup.
Buffalo: Yup.
Sam: Yup.
Rick: Yup.
Sam: Yup.
Buffalo: Yup.
(This goes on for a while, until Nabut walks up, with a metallic box with all kind of nobs, and lights, and switches on it.)
Rick: Whaddya have there?
Nabut: It's an invention of PM's that should be our solution to our non-paying customer problem!
Buffalo: Hey man, that'dbelikeeveryone.
Nabut: Well, I have it set to specific problem customers, like Servo The Gnome.
Rick: Well, what's it do, beside blink and beep.
Nabut: Well, as you know everyone can just seem to walk five feet, and run into us.
Rick: Yeah.
Nabut: Well, why does that happen?
Sam: Good location.
Buffalo: Locationlocationlocation, man.
Nabut; Ah, but you're wrong. Research has found that there is actually a portion of the human brain which is attracted to Gumby-Goo-whatever stuff. It's not in everyone, but it's obviously in our repeat customers.
Rick: So, people are genetically predispositioned to come here?
Buffalo: Werhl, itain'tthecrappyfoodorservicethat'smakingthemcomeback...
Nabut: Precisely, anyway, the Gumby-Goo emits a wave that stimulates that portion of the brain, and draws them to us.
Sam: So, what does the box do?
Nabut: This box emits waves of it's own to a sattelite which bounces it all over the planet. Now, the boxes waves cancel out the Goo's waves. The sattelite also relays the waves with pin point accurecy, so we can use it to target individuals, eg. STG. Without the waves attracting STG, he'll never be able to find this place again, unless he's led here.
Sam: Huh... Why don't we just use it on those GROPE folks?
Nabut: Oh well, they're our best customers.
Sam: Huh? They tear apart the restaurant, mess up our plans, and do all kinds of other troubles, and you won't stop 'em from coming here?
Rick: And they don't even pay!
Nabut: Well, that's not entirely true... That robot fellow, um... Pork, usually leaves behind a decent tip.
Rick: We've been getting tips?
Sam: Nabut's been takin' our tips!
Nabut: Taking them!? They're mine! I'm the only person who does any work around here!
Buffalo: Getthetiphog, man!
(As they begin to surround Nabut, the phone inside MSTBlanca rings(EM's calling))
Nabut: Uh, gotta go! (Runs back inside)
(Yup, that's the explanation. Probably longer than the rest of this reply... Anyway, back on the road...)
STG: (Now it's night time. The explanation was that long)*Sigh* I can't go any further... (Collapses) Oy...
(Above a triangular pattern of lights floats above)
STG: The hell?
(It moves closer to the ground, and can be seen more clearly. It's a UFO!)
STG: HOLY SHIT!
(A yellow light shoots out from the bottom of the ship, right on STG. He slowly begins floating up)
STG: Oh no you don't! I saw 'Fire in the Sky'! You aren't sticking any needles in my ears and eyeballs! (As he's floating up, he notices a cactus beside him, and grabs on) Ha ha... OW! (lets go, and continues to float up) That was a dumb idea...
(STG is pulled into the ship, the light disappears, and the ship begins to fly away.)
ServoTheGreat
Green light
There, that should keep me out of everyone's stories, so I don't mess up continuity. Though feel free to do whatever with my storyline.
#2685
STG, from what I've heard...
Date: 03/02/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
...about alien abduction, it's not your ears and eyeballs you have to worry about them poking things in.
...
Eww.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Just totally grossed herself out
#2686
Buffalo: Aww, sheyoot!
Date: 03/04/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
<Buffalo climbs out from under the pile of rubble that is MSTBlanca.>
Buffalo: Somebody done blowed up MSTBlanca agin, didn't they?
Nabut: <He pops out from under some more rubble.> Yes. They did. Now shut up, you blistering idiot. <He's a bit touchy, seeing as how the bar blew up while he was in charge.>
<They spend the next few minutes digging everybody else out from under the collapsed bar. Amazingly, though everybody's a bit dirty, nobody's seriously injured.>
Linky: I can't believe this. I shouldn't even be here. I'm PM's sidekick, he should have taken me on vacation with him!
Nabut: <A bit more nastily than he should be> Well then it wouldn't have been a vacation, now would it?
Linky: Hmph!! <she kicks Nabut in the groin. Nabut yells and falls to the ground.>
Sam: Mellow out, man! We don't need to be all uptight! MSTBlanca is made of that crazy clay! We just give the signal and that stuff will build the whole place up again in no time flat!
Nabut: No, we can't. The bar won't go back together.
Rick: It won't? Why not?
Nabut: It's in the script.
Lita from offstage, since she's the director: Nabut! That's not your line!
Nabut: It's better than my line! The line is stupid!
Lita from offstage, since she's the director: It is not! Don't make me come up there! Now say it!
Nabut: Fine. I'll say the line. *ahem* "The thingamabob is jammed." There. That's so stupid.
<Lita storms into the reply, holding a megaphone and wearing a beret and some sunglasses. Because she's a director.>
Lita: Nabut, stick to the script.
Nabut: "The thingamabob is jammed?" I'm proficient with a wide variety of technology and technical terms. And the best I can come up with is--
Lita: I wrote this reply, and I don't speak technobabble.
Nabut: <Nabut looks at Lita like he thinks she's the dumbest person on Earth, then decides to try a compromise.> I do speak "technobabble," as you so... charmingly insist on calling it. Let me make up my own line.
Lita: No. This whole conversation is making this reply twice as long as it's supposed to be. I don't like that. Now do your lines like you're supposed to, <Lita lifts a comically large hammer> or else the rest of your lines will be delivered by your stand-in.
Nabut: Fine, fine. It's just that this entire script is such a... <Lita raises her clown hammer threateningly> ...well written and... pain...stakingly crafted... piece of... joy...
Lita: Yes. Ok. <Lita gets offstage, since she's not supposed to be in this scene> Now. From where Rick asks why MSTBlanca won't rebuild itself. But now I think Nick should ask it since it's more his kind of thing anyway.
Nick: Yes!!
Rick: But that was my only line!
Lita: Hush, you! Aaaaannnnnndddd.... ACTION!
Nick: "It won't? Why not?"
Nabut: <He raises his eyes to the sky sadly, then clenches his fist. He looks down at his clenched fist, furrowing his brow as if to say, "I am but one man, and there is only so much I can do". His voice trembles with emotion as he says,> The thingamabob... is *jammed*.
<Nabut totally overacted his line out of pure assholery, but somewhere offstage, Lita is whispering "brilliant!" to herself.>
Linky: So what do we do instead?
Nabut: <brightening up> Well, fortunately *this* thingamajiggy still works fine. <If Nabut is still pissed about his lines, he's hiding it well. He pulls some gizmo out of his... wherever you keep gizmos if you're wearing an outfit like that.> I used it to trace Evil Mike's call just before he blew up MSTBlanca--
Linky: He *called* you first?
Nabut: ...yeah. He keeps forgetting not to do that. Anyway, with this thing, we can track down where GROPE is staying, and teach him a lesson.
Buffalo: Yeah! It's tahme we got that sombitch! He done stold mah wohman!
Nabut: Yes... So... Let's go!
<PM's henchpeople walk around for some time. Yeah, they probably had access to some cool hovercraft or something, but they walked. Eventually they get to a large building.>
Nabut: <Looking at the gizmo> We're here!
<He knocks on the door, just to be polite. The door opens, and...>
Stu: Great! Just what we wanted! More converts! Come in! Come in!
Nabut: Huh? Converts? Er, no, we just wanted to talk to--
Stu: <more forcefully> Come in! I insist! All who seek soup's warming embrace shall find it here!
<He and his sister pull PM's henchpeople inside, whether they particularly want to be pulled inside or not. A few minutes later, they're all in the Soupist robes, sitting at the dining table. Most of the GROPE members are there too, though Lita and Evil Mike are still elsewhere getting yelled at by the Soup Nazi. Nabut scowls into his soup dish.>
Linky: Oooooooo, Nabut... You're in so much trouble when PM finds out you made us all join some creepy Mickey cult!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Stu finally has a name! Yay!
Green light
#2687
Aboard the alien vessel...
Date: 03/06/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
(STG awakens inside a tube filled with goo. He has a breathing apparatus attached to his mouth, and is also wearing goggles, so the goo doesn't ruin his eyes.)
STG: (Thinking) What to do... What to do... (Scratches his head with his *right* hand) Hmmm... My stub feels all fingery and handish... (Looks at his stub, HIS RIGHT HAND IS BACK!) HUH!?
(But before STG has anymore time to ponder the situation, a mechanical, giant, three-prong claw enters through the top of the tube, through the goo, and clamps onto STG's head)
STG: Ow.
(It pulls him out, and while still holding onto to nothing but his noggin' carries him through several corridors, several feet in the air.)
STG: Ow! OW! MY HEAD IS SEPARATING!!! OW!!!
(After traveling a distance, the claw drops STG mid-air. He falls about 20 feet onto a metal table)
*WHAM*
(STG lays there, groaning in pain for a few moments, until three green, big-headed, little-bodied aliens approach him. He then looks scared)
Alien #1: How are you today?
STG: Huh?
Alien #1: Well, how are you?
STG: Oh, I'm fine. My spine broke my fall.
Alien #2: Yes, yes, very good. Are you enjoying you new hand?
STG: (Looks at his hand again) Um... Yeah, I was just using it to scratch my head.
Alien #2: Yes, we thought our subject should at least have all it's apandiges(SP? I'm in such a lazy spelling mood right now...)
STG: Subject?
Alien #3: Er... We mean, 'bestest buddy'.
STG: Huh?
Alien #3: Look, we're just being nice, dammit! Do you want us to take the hand off?
STG: Wha!? No, no, I like it a whole lot, er... um... 'Bestest buddy'...
ALien #1: Yes, now here's your food. (Hands STG a tray of delicious looking food)
STG: Yeah! Cheeseburgers!
Alien #1: Yes, reprocessed, pre-digested, high-nutrient, hamburger shaped vitamin pills.
STG: (Bites into one) They're kinda... stale...
Alien #2: Yes, that's cause they're pills.
STG: These are pills?
Alien #3: We just said they were pills.
STG: What are pills?
Alien #1: THE HAMBURGERS!
STG: What about them?
Alien #2: THEY'RE PILLS!
STG: What are?
Alien #3: THE HAMBURGERS!
STG: These are cheeseburgers.
Alien #1: Look, they're just pills shaped into cheeseburgers!
STG: So, wait, is it the hamburger, or the cheese that's the pill?
(Aliens slap foreheads in unison)
Alien #1: Just eat them, we have to go, and... clean out... the... uh... fish.
(The three aliens leave the room)
Alien #2: Oy, what the heck was that? An Abbot and Castello(sp?) skit?
Alien #3 It will make dissecting him all the more enjoyable!
Alien #1: Yes, then we can study the humans' weaknesses, and invade the planet! MU HU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
(The door opens behind them. It's STG)
STG: So, these *aren't* pills?
Aliens: Grrr.... *Grumble* *Grumble*...
ServoTheGreat
#2688
<Finally...>
Date: 03/07/2003
From: Tork_110
<Tork makes it back to GROPE HQ.>
Tork: Finally. I'm going to get this costume cleaned.
<Tork takes off his costume. (Don't worry, he wears clothes underneath it. Which must make it pretty darn hot for him. But let's not try to use logic when we're trying to figure out Tork, ok?)>
Tork: Ok, I barely made enough money to pay for the trip back here. So I think excuse #23, "Some big mean guys stole my money," has the best chance of working. Especially if I show off this bottle of OKS...
<Tork hears crying.>
Tork: Huh? Who's that?
<Lita6969 runs up and hugs Tork.>
Lita6969: Oh Tork, it was terrible. *sob*
<She cries on his shoulder. Eventually, they're sitting on the couch, and Lita6969 is talking to Tork about what happened.>
Tork: PM is such a jerk!
<Tork hugs Lita6969 and let's her cry on his shoulder. Tork thinks to himself.>
Tork's brain: Poor Lita6969. She's a nice person, and fun to be around, but she just can't control herself. I think that she could be a wonderful wife one day, as naive as that may sound. It's terrible that someone would take advantage of her like that. ... So why the hell am I so turned on right now?
<Tork finds it really difficult not to look at Lita6969's knees. Random thoughts fly through his head, and none of them are the least bit appropriate.>
Tork's brain: Stop that! Wrong Lita!
Tork: Uhhh, Lita6969, I have to go for a second, but I'll be right back.
<6969 begs Tork not to leave, but he leaves and runs.>
Tork: Got to find something to take my mind off THAT.
<Tork goes into some rooms and snoops around.>
Tork: ACK!! Rimmi's underwear! Not a good idea. ... EM's magazines. This isn't helping!! ... manosgirl? Why does Mickey keep pictures of that queen? Hey, wait! Baseball cards!! Those are unsexy. I can keep my mind off Lita6969 by trying to complete this collection.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<Meanwhile, in Anaheim>
Crud: This is the worst trip to Disneyland ever!
Green light
#2689
April: Get off me, you Not Mickey you
Date: 03/07/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Bill Clinton Bot: Don't worry baby. Bubba's gonna make things alright. Get ready for some "Southern Comfort"
George W. Bush Bot: Mmmm....I could go for some of that.
Tourist: Wow....they're so lifelike.
Bill Clinton Bot: Stay out of this, W! She's mine!
George Bush Sr. Bot: You threatening my boy, hippie?
April: All of you shutup! You're giving me a RAMache!
Crud: (Walks in) Aaaaahh....the Hall of Presidents! America's greatest leaders and....one fine piece of ass!
Andrew Jackson Bot: (Slaps Crud) Hmph! I beg your pardon!
Crud: I was talking about the chick!
April: Hello, have you seen Mickey?
Crud: Last time I saw him, Little Lady, he was flying headfirst into Space Mountain.
April: Not that rodent. I meant Mickey! I'm looking for Mickey!
Crud: Oh! That Mickey (Confused) I....I do know this other guy, used to run a bar that we torched a while back in NOTEUROPE.
April: Ooooh, that's where Mickey lives! Why didn't I think to look for him there?
Crud: Because you're a dumb broad?
(April throws Crud at Bill Clinton.....make up your own jokes!)
April: Thanks, Not Mickey!
Crud: Ugh....don't mention it.
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
/a hits PM with a cocunut cream pie. WOO!
Green Light!
#2690
Stu: How's everybody doing tonight?
Date: 03/08/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Rimmi: Not great to tell you the truth.
Girl (Herefor to be known as Candi. As in can. Of soup. Candi is also a good name for a stripper): Can we get you anything to make you more comfortable?
Nabut: I could use some crackers.
Stu and Candi: *gasp*!
Nabut: What?
Candi: You put *crackers* in your soup?
Stu: I can't believe you'd defile soup like that! You soup defiler!!!!!!!!!
Candi: The first rule of Soup Club is...
42 (Raises hand): You don't talk about Soup Club?
Candi: No! It's.....that's actually pretty good. Write that down.
Stu: Can do, Can di!
Candi: Ugh. I hate when he does that.
Stu: Heh....anyway, for your insubordination, Buffalo, it's a trip to the Soup Nazi! Crackers!
Buffalo (Looks up from his soup): You calling may a cracker?
Stu: Not you, Nabut, the other guy. Buffalo.
Nabut: Soup Nazi? I highly doubt I'm supposed to be afraid of him.
Stu: Silence! Hey wait, you're right. Sis, what is he supposed to do besides look all foreigny and shout about soup?
Candi: I don't know. He was your idea.
Stu: I thought you hired him.
Candi: *I* hired him?? You're the one who thought he'd be great because you watch too much tv, Stewart.
Stu: Don't call me that!
Candi: You said, "Let's start a cult!", well, I'm sick of your cult!
Stu: Oh. My cult? When we started it, it was *our* cult?
Nabut: *ahem*
Candi: Oh right. No fighting in front of the converts. Stu, take him to the Soup Nazi.
Stu: Right on it sis. (Hauls Nabut off to the Soup Nazi)
Candi: Now as for the rest of you. (Alarm rings) Oooh! Three o'clock recruitment drive! Gotta go. You wait until Stewart comes back. I'm going to get some new converts.
Linky: Wouldn't that require talking about Soup Club?
Candi: Yes, er...well...shutup!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
You sure man? Cause I'm pretty sure this couch can float, man!
#2691
Soup defiler!
Date: 03/08/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
And....red light!
MTG etc
#2692
I'm just intruding on Mickey's Red Light
Date: 03/12/2003
From: Carmelita9000
(He said I could!!)
*********************************************************
<Stu returns from dragging Nabut in to see the Soup Nazi>
Stu: There! Now you all see the price of flying in the face of--
2780: Kitty finished all the soup and Kitty's not full yet! Kitty wants more soup! <2780 picks Kitty up out of her soup bowl. Kitty, being a stuffed cat, has soaked up all the soup, and is now all soggy and drippy. It's not very important to note, but Mickey's face is on the bottom of the bowl. (Well, not Mickey's *actual* face. That would be totally gross. I mean a picture of his face.)>
Rimmi: What a mess!
42: Lita's not here. I bet I'm the one who has to give Kitty a "bath."
Stu: This is no mess! <He snatches Kitty out of Lita2780's hands>
2780: Hey!
Stu: Kitty has been washed in the cleansing purity of soup! This kitten has never been so clean!
42: Oh, please! Kitty's attracting flies!
Stu: Silence!
2780: Give me Kitty back! Kitty misses me!
<2780 reaches for Kitty, but Stu pulls Kitty away, just out of 2780's reach. He's still using Kitty as an example. The soup that is dripping from Kitty splashes around the room.>
Stu: We must all strive to be like Kitty! We must eat soup until we're all full of soup! That is the only way!
2780: Give me Kitty back!! You're holding Kitty all wrong!!! Kitty doesn't like it!!1!
<Lita2780 has a poin. Stu is holding Kitty by the head. He doesn't see what's wrong with that since Kitty is stuffed, but it really bugs Lita2780. She climbs onto the table and reaches for Kitty again, but Stu is kind of a jerk and keeps on blathering about Kitty's holiness as he continues to hold Kitty away from Lita2780. She overreaches, and falls off the table.>
2780: Ouch!
42: 2780, are you all right??
2780: <from the floor> I'm ok, Other Me. <She jumps up> Give me Kitty back!
Stu: I'm trying to teach these people about the true path, ok?
Nurse (remember her?): Oh, for Mickey's Sake, Stu! Just give her the toy back!
<Everybody glares at the Nurse>
Nurse: Um... I meant "toy" as in "small." Like a toy poodle! <She laughs nervously>
2780: <She wasn't even listening to what the Nurse said> Give me Kitty BACK!! <She finally manages to snatch Kitty out of Stu's grip. Soup splatters around the room. She gives Kitty a big hug, squeezing soup all over the floor, and then runs into the Room of Holy Solitude... or the bedroom... or whatever these crazies are calling it right now. Kitty dribbles soup all over the place the whole way.>
Stu: Um.... And now it's time for you to learn what the Great One meant when he said, "And Thou Shalt Clean All This Damn Soup Off Of My Holy Floor!!"
Rimmi: *mutter* Yeah. That sounds just like Mickey.
Stu: Pardon?
Rimmi: Nothing.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
doesn't know why none of PM's henchpeople talked.
Maybe their mouths were full of soup.
#2693
It turned yellow.
Date: 03/12/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Candi: (Wearing a sandwich board filed with pics of Mickey) Excuse me, ma'am. But have you found the Great One?
Random Lady: I didn't even know I was supposed to be looking for him. Excuse me (walks away)
Candi: (Undaunted) Excuse me sir, have you found the Great One?
Random guy: The more important question is, has the Great One found me. Think about it. (walks away)
Candi: (Grabs a random passerby): Read about how the Great One parted the tomato soup! It's all in the Soupbible and recipe book!
Holy guy: Why young lady, that's sacrilage. I hope you have fun in Hell. (Steps on Candi's foot as he walks away)
Candi: OWWWW!!!! As long as they have soup, I'll be fine!
(Turns to another random passer...hey! Look who it is!) Have you accepted the Great One into your life?
April: I already have. But he hasn't accepted me. But that's because he's never met me. But I know all about him.
Candi: Really? You listened? And you're not a stoner?
Stoner guy: Whoa.....I wonder. Could the Great One microwave a bowl of soup so hot, that he himself couldn't eat it?
Candi: I rest my case.
April: Do you know where Mickey is?
Candi: No. I don't, but....hey, you must be friends with our other converts! They always call the Great One "Mickey"
April: Is he with you?
Candi: He's with all of us, all the time.
April: Ooooh! But I don't see him!
Candi: If you come with me, you'll see him.
April: OK!
(Candi and April return t the Soupists compound)
April: Hello! I'm here to see Mickey! He's my boyfriend!
Stu: *Gasp!* The Great One.....has a queen??? (Worships April, Candi joins her)
Rimmi: Oh for the love of...
Linky: Where is Mickey anyway? That boy has issues.
April: You mean....he's not here?
Candi: As I said, my queen, he is everywhere.
April: (Sees one of the giant banners with Mickey's picture) He is everywhere, but he's usually more three dimensional.
2780: (Returns to the room) You talk funny lady. Like one of those shinny robots.
Stu: Well you see, my queen, physically, he isn't here right now, but we pray for his return and...
April: *growls*
Stu: You....growl?
Rimmi: OK, I think we should get out...now.
42: What about Lita and Evil Mike?
Buffalo: And Naybut?
Rimmi: What about them? OK, ok....someone go get them. Rick, Nick, Sam....go get them.
Nick: Oh no! We're not taking orders from damn dirty GROPErs.
Rick: Unless.....
Nick: What unless? No one said anything about an unless.
Rick: We get to hang out with 6969 again.
Sam: Wow, that's brilliant. Hey, could Mickey microwave a bowl of soup so hot...
Rick: So you see, it's a good plan!
Rimmi: Hey, I'm not in charge of the Litas.
Rick: Ooooh, too bad. Looks like Lita has to deal with psychobot on her own.
Rimmi: Fine! I'll talk to her! Just go get them!
(Rick, Sam and Buffalo run off to get Lita, Evil Mike, and Nabut and they sneak out the back. Rimmi and the others all un out the front as the compound crumbles to the ground)
Linky: Wow...it's so horrible.
Mickey: (Gets out of a cab) Hey, I've been in Canada! Check it out! I got a picture of me at the Big Nick....hey, what's going on here?
(374 drives away....with Beck tied to the roof)
Evil Mike: (Punches Mickey) You're friends are nuts.
Mickey: Friends? The hell?
Lita: Mickey! Thanks for sending you're sex bot to save us!
Mickey: Sex bot? Have you all been drinking?
Lita: I hereby declare that Mickey T. Gardener is back in GROPE!
Mickey: OK, you have been drinking.
(GROPE and PM's henchmen all walk away from the rubble of the compound)
Candi: Ugh....guys?
Stu: Little help here?
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
And yes, I could microwave a very hot bowl of soup. Oww...
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